


I'm So Changeable

by Miss_Molliarty



Series: Unexpected Affections [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mild Language, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-22
Updated: 2011-10-22
Packaged: 2017-10-24 20:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Molliarty/pseuds/Miss_Molliarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John pays a visit to check on Molly and after he's gone, Molly receives another unexpected caller.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm So Changeable

Molly had left Sherlock and John to heal a few days before. What she hadn’t known was that when she had gone home to do the same, her pain and wounded heart distracted her from the dark town car parked some ways down the street. As well, the two police officers Sherlock had instructed Lestrade to watch over Molly. The consulting detective wasn’t without feeling, he just did not show it often.

The apartment had stayed dark for days. Molly would venture out for nibbles and to feed Toby, to clean up the vase she had smashed against the wall. There was no escaping the memories of her and Jim, having made love all over her apartment - Jim wanted to prove the great Sherlock Holmes wrong, prove to Molly that he hadn’t been gay and that he was trying to pull one over on the man who seemed to be tugging at Molly’s affections and using her. She was good natured and eager to help, especially to help Sherlock.

Everywhere she looked she saw Jim and thought how he had used her, just as Sherlock had. Only he had done two things that hurt all the more; he had made her care for him, and he had left after trying to murder two of her friends. She had played the pawn, a means to get to Sherlock and she hadn’t even seen it coming. Maybe she wasn’t as smart as she thought she was. Dealing with the dead every day, you would think she would be clever, analyzing evidence and seeing how the poor people that were wheeled into her mortuary had spent their last moments. Molly had worked very hard to get to her station and was proud of herself. She wasn’t so sure any more, not with these men coming in and treating London and their own small circle of acquaintances like a battleground and troops to be sent in like fodder.

The days had gone by and Molly had begun to feel better. Taking her vacation instead of just calling in sick was the best idea she had at the time. She was able to recover and even watch telly for a bit the day before.

The curtains of her flat were open and the kettle was on when she’d heard a buzz to her intercom that scared her nearly to death. She approached with caution and answered with a meek “Hello?”

“Yer, Molly, it’s John. I came by to see how you’re doing.”  
“Are you alone?”  
“Um, yes. Can I come up?”

She hesitated for a moment, not really knowing what Dr. Watson was doing at her flat. Molly supposed though that he had been sent. _May as well get it over with Molls._

“Sure, I’ll buzz you in.”

Molly threw some laundry that was on the sofa into her bedroom quickly and set out some teacups onto the small kitchenette. It didn’t take the doctor long to arrive at her door, but even then she was cautious and checked the peephole before letting him in.

“Sorry, a bit jumpy yeah.” An apologetic smile lit her face when she had opened the door for him.  
“I understand. No worries.”  
“Would you like a tea? I’ve just put the kettle on.”  
“That would be lovely. Thank you.”

Molly motioned to the kitchenette while she poured hot water into the teapot, her hands shaking a bit, wondering what Sherlock had asked John to find out from her. That was the only possible reason Molly could think of for his visit. Or perhaps, she was wrong, and that John had been worried for her. It was so hard for her to wonder what people’s motives were after all that had happened.

She set the pot out to steep, along with some biscuits that thankfully hadn’t gone stale yet.

“So...” John started, looking around and raising an eyebrow. “...how are you?”  
“Fine. Just fine.” She lied of course. “Just a little on edge. I mean really... my boyfriend is, was... ex-boyfriend is a criminal and tried to kill you and Sherlock.”  
“Yes, he did try.”  
“And I suppose he never really liked me in the first place. Everything was all about Sherlock.”  
“Well, we never really found out about that Molly.” John stirred his tea solemnly and frowned. “It does seem that way though, unfortunately.”  
“I’m so sorry John. If I hadn’t told him to come to the lab to visit... “  
“He would have found another way. This isn’t your fault in the slightest.” John leaned forward and poured a tea for Molly, looking at her with kind eyes.  
“Thank you... I just feel so, dim, that I couldn’t see through him.”

‘Dim’ was meant in more ways than one. A light had gone out when Molly realized that Jim had left, and she felt dim because even though she should have known better, she still cared for him. Just as she still cared for Sherlock even when he would toy with her emotions to get what he wanted.

“I miss him. I’m sorry. He liked me... or so I thought. It was a nice change and I fell for it.”  
“Well, if it is any consolation, he fooled us all. Sherlock won’t admit it, but that night at the pool, I had never seen that look on his face before. The man did have us cornered, and I won’t lie, I thought I was going to die that night.”  
“Oh god John I’m so sorry.” Molly covered her face and bit her lip to keep from crying. She always wanted to prevent death and harm, especially when it came to the people she cared about. “I’m being horribly selfish. I wish there was something I could do.”  
“All you need to do is continue doing what you do best. You’re a very good pathologist and we need you in the lab.” John took a biscuit and dunked it in his tea before smiling at Molly. “It’s nice to see a friendly face when you’re in a morgue.”

Molly managed a polite laugh knowing John wasn’t one for false flattery. Well, she didn’t really know him that well yet but he seemed more sincere than Sherlock. A large part of Molly was thankful for John being around, keeping some of the arrogance in check. She sighed and looked at him, she did not want to drag the conversation, or rather questioning, out any further, suspecting that Sherlock had sent him.

“So, what is it he needs to know John.”  
“Hmm?” Dr. Watson was confused as he munched on the biscuit and sipped at his tea.  
“Sherlock. He sent you didn’t he? To find out if I knew anything else.”  
“No... no, I came on my own. Really.” He set his cup down. “Wanted to see how you were feeling.”  
“Oh! Um, thank you.” She said quietly, almost shy and a little dejected. “I’m just not myself right now.”  
“It’s fine Molly. It’s all fine. As long as you’re still here you can move forward.”

John wasn’t going to get Molly’s hopes up, she was easily roused to help, but a little encouragement never hurt. Sherlock did need her in the lab, John knew, and Molly needed to be out with people. The two of them, Molly and Sherlock, were more alike than either of them saw. Both of them deal with people after they’ve died, but each handled it differently. Molly was more sociable and shied away from her work, even though she performed her job very well. Sherlock dove into the work head first and would shun socializing.

Molly gave John a small nod and they had tea in comfortable companionship, talking about sport and the news for quite some time. It was getting on in the afternoon and Molly had felt infinitely better having talked with John, she really did need company. There was only so much companionship Toby could give her.

After a while, John left, giving her a small hug before he did and Molly shut the door. The visit had left her happy but somehow weary. She flicked on the bathroom light and washed her face, combed her hair into soft waves and put on some lip gloss. Molly thought she might go out and get some take-away for dinner, get some air. She was all ready to leave after a quick change of clothes, Molly walked out into the living room with her handbag open to look for her keys.

However, the sight she was greeted with made her drop everything in her hands as they went to her mouth, stifling a small scream.

“Hello darling. You made tea... how thoughtful.” Moriarty sipped at the now cold tea and pushed it away, getting out of his seat with a sly smile.  
“You... how did you get in?” Her heart pounded, trying to escape out of her ribcage.  
“You left the door unlocked Molly. You should really check that in the future dear, it would be a shame for someone to come in and harm you.” Jim brushed a small patch of Toby’s hair off of his sharp suit. Molly didn’t even know Jim had a nice suit like that... but then again, Molly didn’t really know Jim.  
“Why are you here? What do you want Jim... if you are Jim.”  
“I am, but not quite the one you met, and had over... and made love to.” He nodded to the couch and flicked an eyebrow skyward.

Molly backed up slightly, an inner struggle going on inside of her. She looked toward the window with a sudden thought, but Jim read her like a book.  
“Johnny’s long gone. So are the two coppers that your friend had sent. We have some alone time it seems.”

Jim moved ever closer toward Molly and his proximity unnerved her. She both feared him, and more disturbingly, wanted him.

“I’ll ask again, what do you want?” Molly breathed out her words and watched Jim’s eyes.  
“Only to see you, to check in.... oh, no need for that...” Jim reached over with one hand and wiped away the tears that spilled down Molly’s face, the wall hit her back as she moved away again. “I’m not here to harm you if that’s what you’re thinking... if that’s what you’ve been told to expect.”

Jim’s voice was dulcet and sweet, barely a whisper against Molly’s skin. With another try to wipe away her tears, Molly caught his hand and shoved it away. He tried again, and again, each time Molly grew more aggressive, scratching Jim’s arm, pushing him away until it got to the point to where their hands were clawing at each other. They pushed and pulled, Molly’s back still against the wall in their silent grapple until his lips met hers violently. Though, she didn’t pull away. Molly returned Jim’s kiss, opening her mouth to his even with her hands pulling at his suit and tie. She was amazed to find herself turned on, moaning quietly into his mouth. Molly pressed her mouth hard against his until suddenly, she remembered all that he had done. A sharp bite to Jim’s lip ended their flurry.

Jim smiled at the sudden bite he received, slowly licking at the trickle of blood it produced while he held onto Molly’s arms, preventing her from another frightened onslaught.

“Why. Are. You. Here? To get one more over on Sherlock? To blow me up? Well he doesn’t give a damn about me.”  
“I would try his little doctor friend again but he would see it coming a mile away... and unfortunately, I know he doesn’t give a damn about you. I know how much you’d like him to though. It’s really his loss love.”

Molly clenched her jaw, knowing Jim was right, knowing she was right. Sherlock didn’t care for her in the same way she cared for him... the way that she came to care for Jim.

“You’re both bastards. You used me.”  
“Just as he’s going to keep using you. And of course, like the good girl you are, you’re going to help him.”  
“Not anymore.” Molly’s hair spilled across her collarbone when she shook her head in disagreement.  
Jim was surprised at that, so much so he let a small laugh escape and eased his grip on her arms. “Oh no? So the next time he needs to see a body and tells you how lovely you look in that colour, or how your blush becomes you, you won’t help him?”  
“He’ll have to trust my charts or else sod off. I’ve had it with being used … by him, and by you. You can both kill each other for all I care.”  
“Now I know you don’t mean that.”

Molly’s chest was heaving and their lips were barely touching again. How that man got under her skin and made her so... so hungry, she would never know. She was always hungry for him, for how powerful he made her feel, how wanted. It couldn’t be true though, this is what he did. He lied to her before, he would continue to lie to her.

 _This is how it would be, he would always know how to get to you, he would always know that in the end, he got you to do everything that goes against your values. All because he knows how to manipulate you, to make you feel good about yourself. You don’t need Jim... or Sherlock for that matter, to make you feel that way._

Something in Molly's mind snapped as she pushed Jim away with a ferocity that she immediately regretted, because he seemed to like it very much. Molly’s wrists were sore from being restrained. She rubbed them absently and stared at the floor. A sly smile grew on Moriarty’s face as he watched her, obviously viewing her inner struggle. He was never far away from her and he dared to inch closer toward Molly. Tentatively, the young pathologist raised her eyes from the carpet and stood up straight. Moments later, both of them seemed to circle one another in a sort of predatory dance.

"You can't do this to me any more. Why couldn't you have just gone? Why did you come back?" Molly’s voice was husky and surprising, not the meek little mouse she usually was around Sherlock. She wanted answers and the only way she was going to get them was to play along until she could find a way out of this situation and to get Jim to leave her be, peacefully. She didn’t wish him dead, not even harmed, that wasn’t her nature. All she wanted was for Jim to leave her alone. No looking over her shoulder, no jumping at the sound of the door buzzer, just gone.

The smile melted off of Jim's face, regarding her with a piercing gaze. "I came back for you."  
"Pardon?" That was a surprise to Molly indeed. With all the lies, how could she even believe that he cared about her that much to risk being spotted?  
"For you Molly. You needn't ever set foot in the hospital again if you don't want to. Come with me and you could have everything you've ever wanted." That quiet, eerie voice of his was back again, lulling Molly into a false sense of security.

"I've worked so hard to get to where I am Jim, why would I throw it all away to go away with you? A murderer... a psychopath?" It was a valid question she thought. Why would she give up her family, her friends, the job she was really really good at, to be with Jim? All based on the slim thought that he may actually care for her, deep down.

"I've never murdered anyone." Jim said, as a matter of fact, quietly and sweetly.  
"Let me rephrase then, you've brought about the murders of innocent people."  
"None of us are innocent."  
"Oh no? Not even the little boy you tried to blow up because of a counterfeit painting???" Molly challenged him with a barbed tone that seemed almost entertaining to Moriarty.  
"Calm down, the boy's fine... Sherlock saved him just like he did the rest." Jim checked himself mockingly. "Sorry, almost all of them. I warned the old woman."

"Oh god..." Molly groaned painfully, wishing Jim was somewhere else, she was getting nowhere with him. She raked her hands over her face in frustration, wishing she knew the clever thing to say to make him leave. Her heart still sped with a familiar fear and longing and if she cared to admit it, Molly even dared to wonder what it would be like to just pick up and leave with him. No, it was too much of a sacrifice for her. What would he be giving up? Nothing.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, my place is here." She said through tears, fighting hard with herself to stay on her current course and not let Jim divert her. "I'll not have blood on my hands. I'm not even fully convinced that you've come back for me. You've lied to me so many times... I have no idea if you ever cared for me at all."

The blank face of Jim Moriarty twisted angrily for a split second before he had Molly by the wrists once more in a swift act of ferocity. She didn't cry out though, she only stared into his cold eyes, challenging him.

"I've risked so much coming back here for you." He said through gritted teeth, seething. The colour faded from his face just as quickly as it had appeared. "I need you with me Molly. You know so much more than others give you credit for. I can see it." Jim didn’t say how he actually felt. To lose face even with Molly would cause his image to unravel. Even though it would prove to her that he wasn’t lying, that he felt something for her that he’d never felt before, about anyone. Not even about himself. However, his face remained a blank slate but for the sly smiles and twitches of anger when he was challenged.

Molly bit her lip and let a few tears slide down her face before regarding him again, all the while chanting in her head that going with him would mean the end of all of her hard work, the end of her life as she knew it.

"I can’t Jim. Not if you're going to keep killing, not if you're going to keep committing crimes like this. You could be doing so much more." Molly managed to wrench her hand from Jim’s grip to touch his face lightly, a distinct look of pleading in her eyes. "What happened to you to make you like this?"

Jim never answered her, but here was something like pain that flashed across his face. No one had ever asked him that before. His gaze quickly moved from her eyes, his grip on her loosened but something still made him hold onto her. Molly was the one woman, the one person who had asked him the right question. The question that he could never give an answer to, no matter how badly he wanted to.

Molly couldn't look at him for very long. The fear of giving in to him was too great. Jim's arm was around her waist, his other was in her hair, just playing, much like he was taking his last look, resolved that he could not take her with him. Her eyes met his and they only stared at each other for what seemed like an hour. Their tempers diffused through their embrace and a mutual understanding that they were at a stale mate put their aggression toward each other to an end.

Neither of them were willing to change their whole lives for polar opposites, no matter how much they wanted each other.

Molly and Jim's initial kiss was in the midst of a torrent, this one was a fearful farewell. It was long and slow, riddled with doubt and lies but something tender as well. Jim’s hands were in her hair, running through slowly while the two of them languished in what they both knew was their last kiss. Molly would always be the one Jim could never have, and Jim would always be the one that Molly could not let herself want.

Moments later, they broke off. Molly’s hands clutched at the back of Jim’s suit, white-knuckled and nervous as to what he would say to her, what he might do to her. Neither of them were looking at one another, their foreheads touched and stayed, somewhat exhausted from the truce.

"I have to stay... you know that." Molly said with closed eyes.  
"Yes. I know. You’ve made it abundantly clear and I’m sorry.... “ Jim was about to say he was sorry for lying, for leading her on and making her care for him. “... I’m sorry you feel that way.”

"I won't tell anyone that you’ve been here.” There was still the dull glimmer of threat in the back of Molly’s mind. She knew he wouldn’t harm her, but some kind of assurance would not hurt either. “But... only if you promise me that you will never come back. You owe me that much."

Jim managed to test every resolve that Molly had. She needed to stay true to herself and she wanted that more than anything. To not be a tool for anyone anymore. Not for Jim and especially not for Sherlock Holmes. Jim should be thanked for bringing her to that realization.

"You have my word... for what it's worth." Jim kissed Molly quickly and touched her cheek as he moved backward toward the door. He stopped at the door and looked back at her, a sliver of his profile was visible. "I promise, no harm will ever come to you, by my hand.... or any others."

Molly's knees were weak, her head spun with everything that had happened in her flat that night. She had been able to endure this. However, it showed in her voice, a small whisper of a statement. "Thank you." The door opened but Molly hadn't seen Jim leave, she waited until he was gone before she locked the door and had forgotten all about her plans to leave the flat. She thought briefly about phoning John before remembering her promise... and Molly was never one to break a promise, even one that was made to Jim Moriarty.

She was alive, she would carry on and move forward, just as John had said she would. Her resolve was set - she would return to her work and not let anyone get the better of her. Molly Hooper was a professional and deserved respect and no amount of flattery would be enough, ever again.

Jim fled that night, to his safe house. He was sullen and lonely which often led to him getting bored. But no matter what his next scheme was, his next diabolical plot, Molly would always be protected even though she would never know just how much she was guarded and by how many.


End file.
